In this episode, Nicole chats with Sydney, a Your Clear Calling (YCC) alumni, about the unorthodox journey she took to reach her goals, and the breakthroughs she experienced to generate a relationship of trust with herself and her intuition.
Before YCC, Sydney was feeling stagnant in her life and her job. She had achieved the goals that she had set for herself 10 years prior and didn’t know what came next. YCC helped her get clear about her purpose and gave her the tools to pursue those goals. We get an intimate look at the personal and professional goals that Sydney has since achieved, and what comes next for her.
Sydney Ratukalou (Ra-too-ka-low) is a full-time family manager, coach, and lifelong learner. Through Your Clear Calling and coaching with Nicole, she was able to identify her purpose, and she went on to certify in Lightyear Coaching and start her entrepreneurship journey in starting her own business.
“I had achieved most of what [goals] I had set out for 10 years ago, and so I felt myself going, “Well, what’s next?” Coupled with some of the personal and professional things I was going through, I was letting fear and anxiety really creep in and be part of my daily life.”
“Go back to the source when you felt most at ease and in flow.”
“I felt very clear that I wanted to have a family. I had a very clear “by when” date when I wanted to have a baby by, which was March 9th. The first month we tried to get pregnant, nothing happened, so of course the fear and anxiety came back in. I had one more one-on-one with Nicole, and she told me to build that space…I am now the mother of identical twin girls, and their due date was March 9th.”
“To see someone really set a vision for themselves and do the work and live the vision, it just grounds me and keeps me in my purpose and doing what I want to do every day.”
“When I watch people in my life that don’t feel really happy, and I might be doing something that seems weird or off to them, I get to come back to, “But I feel really happy and fulfilled.” That is the parent I’m being for my kids, the partner I’m being for my husband, and the person I’m being at work. It really keeps me grounded to live a life that I’m so happy in that I chose.”
“I’ve had to remind myself every day that what they [my girls] need from me and what I need from myself to feel full today, everything I already have.”
“There’s something about getting yourself whole, complete, and clear so that you can attract the things that are right for you. Otherwise, things can just feel like chaos.”
“For me, it was deciding that I want to be in the front row of my life. I spent the last couple of years in the back row.’”
“It’s a practice that I have to work so hard at it every single day.”
“It’s made me a beacon of strength for my family. I know that where I’m meant to be… is with my family. They needed my unwavering trust and belief that good will come, and that’s really what my purpose has been the last 6 months.”
“Take a moment, find a quiet space, and turn inward. Have an honest conversation [with yourself], “How do I feel? What’s working? What’s not working? Do I feel fulfilled? Is every day worth a celebration?” If not, then there are resources and tools in the world that exist that can be the most exciting, fun way to celebrate every day. Life can feel so fun, so easy, and so worth it, even on days that feel hard.”
NICOLE
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the School of Self-Worth. This is part of my Clear Calling Success Series, where I sit down with some of my remarkable and inspiring past students who share how their lives have been completely transformed by their clear calling. If you’re not already familiar with my signature program, it breaks down the exact steps required to identify and live in your purpose, shattering the stubborn blocks and internal programming preventing you from trusting yourself. This is the only way to unlock your intuition and step into a life of purpose. Clear Calling does all of that and more. It is a wild ride and a complete transformation.
Today, I am sitting down with Sydney Ratukalou, who used Clear Calling to get pregnant with twins, manifest a 30% raise in household income, leave a job that was no longer serving her, and most importantly, trust herself enough to unlock her intuitive knowing. As you’re listening, if you’re thinking “Oh my god, I see myself in Sydney. This is exactly the kind of transformation I want for myself,” you are in luck because my two-week course “Unlock Your Internal Compass” just opened for enrollment. You’ll master the first pillar of the Clear Calling method so you can clear stubborn blocks and subconscious programming preventing you from trusting yourself. This is the only way to unlock your intuition. Doors close Wednesday, June 7th. If you’re all in, go to nicoletsong.com/trust.
Sydney, it’s great to have you on the School of Self-Worth podcast. Thank you for joining us. This is Sydney’s first podcast recording and we’re excited to have her here. Sydney has been a client of mine for some time and I invited her to share her story. She has made many breakthroughs in building trust with herself and her intuition.
It has been powerful to witness Sydney’s progress. I don’t want to spoil her story by revealing everything that has happened in her life, as there have been many amazing things. Sydney and I first met when we ran into each other on the street. We had connections from way back when she worked at Lululemon and I was an ambassador. We knew each other peripherally for a long time and had some connections through our coaching community, but we didn’t connect regularly. After running into each other, we started talking.
Sydney, could you go back to that point and share what challenges you were facing at that time?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
In 2021, we were emerging from the pandemic. I had just bought a house and gotten married, but life felt flat and had plateaued. I had experience with vision and goal writing from Lululemon and had achieved most of what I had set out to do ten years ago. I found myself wondering what was next. Coupled with personal and professional challenges, fear and anxiety crept into my daily life. I questioned whether I could achieve my goals of starting a family and reaching financial milestones. This was a red flag for me and I knew I needed help. I reached out to Nicole, who had done some of the work that had previously helped me feel at ease and in flow.
NICOLE
I’m curious if you could share more about what was challenging you. You mentioned starting a family and having doubts about whether you even wanted one, even though it had been something you really wanted. Could you tell us more about that?”
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
I was definitely considering whether I want kids and if I can afford them in this world. I’m really close to quite a few people on social media who have recently had challenging pregnancies and birth defects. This made me wonder if my baby would be born with a birth defect or if I would have a miscarriage. These doubts arose even before I began the process.
NICOLE
So you hadn’t even considered it? You were thinking that you shouldn’t even begin? I feel like what you’re sharing is true for a lot of people. We’re blocked before we even start, so we can’t even trust that it’s something we want, let alone start to follow the process. What would you say really started to help? Was it clearing those blocks? What was the process for you to start to see that it was actually something you wanted to pursue?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
Yes, I would say it was exactly that – clearing some of those beliefs and experiences that were taking me back to an earlier time when I didn’t have the tools or resources to help me get through those barriers. That’s really what helped me overcome them – removing them from my day-to-day life. And you helped me with that, which was amazing.
NICOLE
Thank you for sharing that. I’m curious if you could talk a little bit about how you were feeling blocked in your career at that time. Could you share what was happening for you?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
I had some recent experiences during the interview process where I was told that I needed certain credentials to move forward. I found myself feeling like I didn’t want to get those credentials or do that work. Coupled with a lack of a mentor or someone who believed in me, and not believing in myself at the time, I didn’t have a plan B. I only knew how to take feedback, put it to work, and achieve what I wanted to do. So I kept trying to work the same process of applying myself to get these credentials within this job that I was finding myself burnt out from. It was hard to figure out how to move forward in my career and financially if, in my heart, I knew I didn’t really want those things.
NICOLE
You mentioned something really important about not believing in yourself. That is one of the biggest blocks for most of the women I see. They’re smart and progressing in their careers, but if they don’t believe in themselves, that alone is a huge stumbling block. What would you say about the work we did for yourself? How did that shift and change things?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
The biggest thing you gave me was a process. Starting with removing these blocks and clearing the field so I could see a future for myself that I didn’t otherwise believe was possible. Another important part of the process was hearing from my family and friends. So often in life, we put our heads down and do the work, forgetting the impact we have on others in our community. Seeking out the opinions and perspectives of those who mattered most to me and hearing the impact I was having on their lives and in my community allowed me to start believing in myself. I resonated with those things and was able to create a vision and goals for myself from that place, rather than from a stuck or blocked place. That process is what allowed me to believe in myself.
NICOLE
It’s powerful what you’re saying about my Clear Calling Method, where you create an unbreakable relationship of trust with yourself by shattering 7 blocks and gaining crystal clarity on what you really want to do. Purposeful action also requires a deeper belief in yourself. Thank you for sharing your journey and the process it took for you to get there. I’m curious about what you became aware of at work. You mentioned that they had standards and processes for advancement, which many women listening have experienced. For example, if you’re in business and they say you need an MBA, but you don’t want to get one. Or you don’t want a certain certification or credential. How did this process of believing in yourself help you see more clearly what kind of work you wanted to do and what choices you wanted to make for yourself?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
This process helped me see that the reason I stayed with the company for as long as I did was because I loved impacting people’s belief in themselves and helping them remember that they are whole and capable. I enjoyed giving them the space to step into their own leadership and lives. However, as the company grew and implemented more standard operating procedures, I had less time for that. This process helped me remember that impacting people’s belief in themselves was at the core of what I loved to do. Working with you and dreaming of a life filled with doing that all the time allowed me to believe in myself and make the shift I needed to feel more fulfilled in my life.
NICOLE
That’s so cool. There’s one more thing I wanted to mention. When you were going through the Clear Calling process with me and we were doing some individual work, you also learned to trust money in a totally different way. I remember that being a huge growth for you. I’m curious if you could talk about the challenges and blocks you experienced around money and abundance when we first started working together.
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
Yes, working with you on money and abundance was one of the most fun aspects. I did a lot of work with you on removing some of the legacies from my family around scarcity and lack of abundance. My grandfather was a Depression baby, so there were some deeply ingrained beliefs. First, it was about removing those blocks to be able to see clearly. I used to work exactly the number of hours needed to get the paycheck to pay the bills and put a certain amount into savings. I wouldn’t work an hour less and never took a vacation because I needed the money. I believed that if you worked hard, the money would come and that was the only way.
But you challenged me to just ask for the money. At first, I didn’t know who to ask or how it would happen. But then my husband called me one day and said he got a 30% raise at work. It was amazing. I didn’t even know it was possible to get a 30% raise in the same job. It was delivered in a way I didn’t expect, and it made me wonder what else was possible. You challenged me to look at where I was receiving money and to write it all down. If I felt a lack of flow, you encouraged me to give money to get the flow going again. That’s something I think about almost every day, especially as my husband and I are going through some financial challenges right now. We need to get the flow going again and come back to what we know. That experience was really shattering for me because I didn’t believe there was a way to just ask for money. Now, I have so much belief in myself that I deserve it and can receive it. Whatever spiritual beliefs people have, for me, it’s about trusting that God will back me up and deliver when I ask.
NICOLE
Yes, whether you call it the universe, divine intelligence, or God, it was powerful to see that shift in you. It gave you so much more ease for what came next. After we worked together and our time ended, all these amazing things started to happen for you with this newfound clarity. Could you share with people the amazing results that came from our work together?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
After working with you and completing the Clear Calling process, I felt very clear that I wanted to have a family. I had a specific date in mind for when I wanted to have a baby – March 9th. The first month we tried to get pregnant, nothing happened, and the fear and anxiety came back. But then I remembered the tools we worked on, and you encouraged me to build a space for my baby. So I went out and bought two outfits, which seems wild to me now because I’m the mother of identical twin girls and their due date was March 9th. They ended up coming a little early, which was amazing.
In November or December, I left my job to be a full-time mom, which was part of my vision. Now I’m looking for a job that aligns with my one-year vision to help me grow my coaching business and give me the financial means to do so. We’ve also worked on our house, paid off some debt, travelled, and cooked Fijian food – something I was convinced only my in-laws could do. So much has happened that has filled up my heart and brought me closer to what I really want in life.
NICOLE
It’s remarkable to see how Sydney’s practice has evolved. It wasn’t always perfect trust, but she understood when blocks would come up and would move through them to trust again. She followed her intuition for what she really wanted to do. That’s the process – we have to get the blocks out of the way to trust ourselves and follow our intuition. That’s where a life of purpose and expansion comes from. Sydney’s journey is unorthodox in many ways, and I love that about it. I was talking to a previous client the other day, who said she wanted to be weird. When you get into a life of purpose, you start doing things that others might see as weird. That’s where it’s important to trust yourself. You smiled when I said that – what comes up for you around making choices that others might question? How do you hold that for yourself?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
This is a big one for me. My brother is a psychiatrist and has had a lot of formal training in helping people. So, when I think about being an entrepreneur in the space of life coaching and energy work, I wonder what he will think and how to tell people about it. What has always stuck with me is seeing the mentors and coaches I’ve had living purposeful, integrated lives. Their work works because they’re living it. Nicole, you’re one of them, and so was Suzanne before her. Seeing someone set a vision for themselves, do the work, and then live that vision, grounds me and keeps me focused on my purpose and doing what I want to do every day.”
NICOLE
So having both the help, but then also the people before you, is something that helps you to stay on track?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
It feels good to live a life that makes me happy and fulfilled. When I see people in my life who don’t seem happy, even if they might think I’m doing something weird or off, I can come back to the fact that I feel good. That’s the parent I’m being for my kids, the partner I’m being for my husband, and the person I’m being at work. Living a life that I’m happy in and that I chose, keeps me grounded.
NICOLE
It’s powerful to live from a place of happiness and fulfillment and make choices from there. Many women feel like they’ll be happy and fulfilled once they have something – money, a family, a partner, the perfect job. But it’s the opposite – you have to feel happy and fulfilled in your life as it is by clearing the blocks that are stopping you from having those things. Then, all the other things come from being in that happy, fulfilled place. Our culture teaches us that once we have something, then we’ll be happy, but it doesn’t work that way.”
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
I battle with the idea of being happy once I have something every day. Leaving my job was the plan, but being unemployed for this long wasn’t. I’ve struggled with the thought that I’ll be happy when we have two incomes again. But I have to give myself a reality check and remember that what my babies need right now is me being present. No amount of money can replace that. I have to remind myself every day that what they need from me and what I need to feel whole is everything I already have. The time will come when the next step of a job will be there and bring new challenges. I’ll look back on this time and wish I had valued it more. It’s important to get yourself whole, complete, and clear so you can attract what’s right for you, rather than feeling like you need everything all at once.
NICOLE
It’s so remarkable because what you’re doing is going to be so much better for your girls in the long run, you know?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
Two years ago, I identified that I wanted to be a coach. Now, I’m ready for it. At first, I wasn’t sure and needed to try other things. But now that I have two babies and value quality time the most, coaching is the perfect fit for me. It allows me to be the best human I can be and puts me in a studentship that I love. It’s taken me two years to be okay with this direction in life that I wanted for myself two years ago.
NICOLE
The depth and complexity of personal growth is an ongoing process. It’s not as simple as snapping your fingers and everything is fixed. As we grow and evolve, different blocks come up that we need to clear to regain trust with ourselves. It’s important to strengthen our ability to clear blocks and subconscious beliefs as a muscle. Each time we reach a new level, there are new things to look at and clear out. We have to get stronger at it so that we’re willing to look at it and say, ‘Okay, it’s time to clear that out so that I can move to the next stage.
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
For me, it’s about deciding to be in the front row of my life. I spent the last couple of years in the back row, whether it was in my career or as a parent. But now I realize that I can be in the front row and that’s where I want to be. Through your clear calling, I wrote a legacy statement where I put the sentence ‘My family is my everything.’ It was almost like putting my everything first and then came the second part of the legacy, which is that I restore my community. It’s perfect and reminds me to trust myself every day on this journey.
NICOLE
Well, I would say that raising your family is being in the front row. I mean I can’t even imagine a more front-row perspective than raising twins.
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
It’s felt quite chaotic at times. When we were talking about business coaching, it just felt like it wasn’t as intentional as I wanted it to be. I know every parent out there says it’s not supposed to be intentional and that you’re just making it up as you go. But for me, I want my life to feel very intentional and to be in the work that I want to be in. I’ve struggled this year with being okay with being a stay-at-home mom and not trusting myself to be okay with what I chose. While you asked me to come on here because it’s something I’ve done and feel successful at, it’s still a practice and I have to work hard at it every day. I still cry all the time because sometimes that’s just what I need. I’ll never have a job, I’ll never do this or that. But then you put those people in your life to help you snap out of it.
NICOLE
Having this conversation and reflecting on previous successes is helpful. It’s important to look at the moments where we cleared blocks, stepped into our power, and succeeded. This gives us proof that we can do it again. Even though we may still cry and feel stressed about it, we still believe. That’s the subconscious part of it – the programming in our brain is belief, even if on the outside we’re a bit of a mess. And that’s okay because sometimes we’re a mess. But it doesn’t mean we don’t believe that our dreams will come true. It’s a reminder that even on those days when we’re crying, we know it will happen.
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
In the last six months, I’ve been a beacon of strength for my family. They needed my unwavering trust and belief that good will come, and that’s been my purpose. Even as I say it now, I realize how true it is. People in my life have told me that I’m an inspiration and a pillar of strength for my family, for my dad, husband, mom, and girls. It feels so right and I’m ready to step into the next piece of my life. It’s amazing.
NICOLE
Everything you’re sharing is so cool and I love how real you are. It’s important for us to recognize our strengths and areas of growth. It’s all part of the practice of trust and being honest with ourselves. Sydney, do you have any suggestions for someone just starting this journey? What would you suggest for them to start helping themselves?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
Take a moment to find a quiet space and turn inward. Have an honest conversation with yourself about how you feel, what’s working and what’s not, and whether you feel fulfilled. If the answer is no, there are resources and tools in the world that can help you feel celebration every day. Life can be fun, easy, and worth it, even on hard days. This program specifically is so fun and satisfying. It gives you the tools to coach yourself when you’re having a hard time. If I had a million dollars, I would buy it for all my friends and family because I believe it’s the way the world will become a happier and more fulfilled place.
NICOLE
Amazing. Thank you for sharing that, Sydney. Are you ready for the rapid-fire questions? I know you listen to the podcast, so you must be ready.
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
Yes definitely. I already know them.
NICOLE
Okay, what was the last thing you watched on television?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
Lately, I’ve been into the show ‘Working Moms.’ It’s so inappropriate and makes me laugh, especially now that I’m a mom and thinking about being a working mom. I like it a lot.
NICOLE
Awesome! I love getting TV recommendations on the podcast. What’s on your nightstand?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
On my nightstand, I have binkies in case my girls wake up in the middle of the night. I also have my phone because I like to do my energy work in the morning or before bed. I’m trying to be a better reader, so I have my Kindle there too. I don’t want to watch Netflix every night before bed because it doesn’t make me feel fulfilled. Whether or not I always pick up my Kindle is another story. I also always have water because I’m still breastfeeding and get parched in the middle of the night.
NICOLE
I love it. Okay, when was the last time you tried something new, and what was it?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
I would definitely say this podcast is something new and exciting for me. It’s a growth opportunity and I feel like I will be a better version of myself because of it.
NICOLE
Good show. You’re doing awesome. Okay, and then last one is what are your top 3 most used emojis on your phone?
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
My favorite emoji is the crying laughing one. My husband and I send a lot of photos of our girls back and forth to each other and our response is always the crying emoji. It’s like, ‘Oh, they were so little and they’re growing up so fast. They’re so cute.’
NICOLE
Well Sydney, what an honor and pleasure to have you sharing your story here, and really, I love that you just took that bold step to being on School of Self-Worth and I know that everyone listening has benefited from what you shared. So, thank you so much for being here.
SYDNEY RATUKALOU
Of course, thank you for having me.
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