When I first started planning my wedding, I decided I would follow my intuition for all my decisions.
I also decided to simplify by only letting myself have two options for everything. Two wedding invites. Two DJs. Two florists. You get the point.
I knew it would be the biggest test yet of my intuition. It was a big year, the same year that I released two books, my first-ever experience publishing books and becoming an author. I needed a way to simplify things that felt complicated and overwhelming, especially wedding planning and the decision overload that can come with it.
The steps I assigned myself were simple: 1. Listen for the answer. 2. Act on it.
That second one is the biggie, the one that often twists my brain. My intuition has told me countless numbers of action items that on the surface made no sense. Leave this job to write a book. Go spend a ton of money on this training. Launch a business.
Every bride cares about different things during their wedding. I cared about food, namely that it was super delicious. Except I was getting married a two-hour flight away and wouldn’t be able to taste the food. I had to go on recommendations, and also on the proposed menus. I had conversations with two caterers. Their menus both looked spectacular. The cost was roughly the same.
My gut told me to go with one. The day I was ready to email him and confirm, then-fiancé Chris said he preferred the other menu. My heart sank. I was wracked over the choice, and spent an entire day stressing the way only a bride can, weighing the menu options, pricing and which caterer offered the better value. I was sure that the entire wedding hinged on this one decision. What if the paella rice turned out gloppy? Were there enough appetizer options? What if the non-meat eaters went hungry with this menu? What if nobody liked the food? What if I hated the food?
Then I remembered none of those reasons really mattered, and my intuition did. It was set on the original one. I triple-checked. Yup, still the same. I emailed Chris, nervous about his response, and he said either one was fine. I went with my first choice, and sent an email to the second one, saying thank you for your lovely proposal, and we are going with someone else.
Afterward, I went on with my planning. I didn’t think too much of my final choice, and was relieved it was decided.
A couple weeks later, I realized something — I had never heard back from the other caterer. Nothing. Not even a simple, “Thank you for your consideration, congratulations.”
Then I knew what my gut already knew. I didn’t want someone who didn’t have the simple grace to say thank you to be present at my wedding, let alone make all the food. Our wedding was small, with only 40 people, and the caterer was staying on site to make brunch too. I wanted someone connected, caring, and who was aligned with us. The other caterer was not it.
Listening to your gut is the simple part. Acting on it takes a deeper level of bravery.