Get Paid for Your Passion in 2025

• Pressure Around New Year’s Goals (00:00:31) 
• Cultural Conditioning and Goal Setting (00:09:27).
• Detachment from Goals (00:12:09)
• Law of Attraction and Energy of Scarcity (00:07:45)
• Clarity on What You Want (00:14:14)

QUOTES: 

“I hated the pressure that the end of the year had to be perfect, and it had to be perfect so that the start of the year was perfect.”

“Over the years, I have learned and perfected how to lead a life where your dreams actually come true and then some.”

“It’s like going to a restaurant and you really want to order the pasta, but instead of ordering the pasta, you order the chicken. And then you’re kind of mad when your meal comes in. It’s chicken and it’s not pasta.”

“Detachment gets you so much more than you realize. When you detach from a goal, that’s when miraculous things can occur that you are now leaving room for.”

“Humans are designed to grow. And when we don’t grow, we start to get itchy … we want to feel challenged.”

“Having a goal is just the tip of the iceberg, really. Inside my course ‘Your Clear Calling’, we get into the nitty gritty of being in action towards your goals.”

NICOLE

Hello, friends! Welcome back to the School of Self-Worth. I’m your host, Nicole Tsong, and this is our very first episode of 2025. Happy New Year to all my listeners out there!

I want to start this episode—and this fresh chapter we’re in—with some full disclosure: I used to really despise New Year’s. I hated everything associated with it, especially the buildup to the end of the year. The pressure in January to stay on track with my goals and resolutions was overwhelming.

It took me many years to overcome this, and today, I want to have a simple conversation about how to release that pressure, set yourself up for success in 2025, and most importantly, how to get paid for your passion. This is the main framework I teach, and I’m excited to dig in today about thriving in 2025.

Before we dive deeper, if you are a high-achieving Asian American corporate leader who wants a step-by-step guide to reverse the negative cultural conditioning holding you back at work so you can finally get paid for your passion, DM me “PAID” at Nicole Tsong on Instagram. I have something special for you over there!

Welcome to the School of Self-Worth, a podcast for ambitious women who know they are worthy of an astoundingly great life. Join us weekly as we align with our intuition, redefine success, and reclaim our self-worth. I’m Nicole Tsong, an award-winning journalist who left it all behind to become a bestselling author of three books and a work-life balance expert. I help ambitious women unlock their intuition and step into a life of fulfillment and radical joy.

Every week, I bring you diverse and meaningful conversations with successful women from all walks of life who share insights about what it takes to be brave, joyful, and authentic every day. Each episode is thoughtfully designed to empower you with tangible tips and advice that will lead to your next breakthrough.

Alright, friends, if you had talked to me about a decade ago around New Year’s, you would have found me in a pretty solid pattern of either hiding from the end of the year or totally faking it. I often wished I could stay home because I hated New Year’s so much. 

What I despised most was the pressure—the pressure that the end of the year had to be perfect so that the start of the new year would also be perfect. I felt I had to attend the exact right party and do everything just right. At the same time, I was fixated on everything I hadn’t accomplished that year. If I was single, I wished I were in a relationship. If I was in a relationship, I wished I were married. If I was married, I wished we had a house and kids. 

This fixation extended to my career as well. If I wasn’t at the newspaper I wanted to be at or wasn’t as far along in my yoga career as I hoped, I would dwell on that at the end of the year. Then came the actual holiday, with the pressure of attending the perfect party or celebrating New Year’s the “right” way. And on New Year’s Day, I felt even worse. Should I polar bear plunge? Go to yoga? Run? Should I finish every bit of journaling to ensure I was fully prepared for the new year? It was just too much pressure.

If you relate to what I’m saying, this episode is perfect for you. I want you to enter this year feeling calm, grounded, and like you’re on track for your life, which is the goal of today’s episode.

While I felt all this pressure around the New Year, I also harbored big dreams. I’ve always been a high-achiever, but I struggled to differentiate between pursuing my dreams and beating myself up for not reaching them quickly enough. So, here’s my question for you: Do you wish you had a crystal ball that could predict only the good things for this year? A year where you finally get paid for your passion, have space for your personal life, and feel like you are thriving, not just surviving? 

There is a way to start doing this. Over the years, I’ve learned how to lead a life where dreams come true—and I’m going to share with you the exact two-step process today. As a bonus for those who feel stressed by resolutions, I don’t do resolutions. I believe deeply in dreams and goals. Despite my torturous history with New Year’s, I now love it. I cherish the closure the end of the year brings and the fresh start of a new calendar year. 

I also believe you can do this daily. As a culture, we tend to focus on this collective reset at the end of the calendar year. I love the opportunity to pause, reflect on what matters to you, and make a shift. 

Let’s talk about how I used to set goals for the New Year. Like everyone else, I had typical New Year’s goals: do yoga six days a week, cut sugar for the month, stop drinking alcohol, meditate daily. But these resolutions only lasted as long as the programs I was in because accountability really helps. Once those programs ended, so did my commitment to my goals. Statistics support this; most people who set resolutions in January abandon them by the third week, if not sooner. 

I often beat myself up and felt like a failure. By the end of February, when the weather was still dreary, I often felt despondent and even a little depressed. If this cycle resonates with you, you’re in the right place.

The real problem was that I was approaching everything from a place of lack and scarcity. I treated my goals as something I had to fix, believing there was something inherently wrong with me. I thought, “Cut sugar because you’re not skinny enough,” or “Work out more because you’re not strong enough.” While that can initially motivate, it’s not sustainable. This mindset attracted more feelings of inadequacy into my life, perpetuating a cycle of scarcity.

Instead of focusing on what I truly wanted, I was stuck in a mindset of not-enoughness. It’s like going to a restaurant where you really want pasta, but instead, you order chicken. When your meal arrives, you’re disappointed because it’s not what you truly wanted. You’ll get what you order, but you need to ensure you’re asking for what you really want.

Many Asian American women tend to fall into this trap due to cultural conditioning learned while growing up. We’ll discuss this more today because it’s a significant topic. I’ll touch on it briefly, but there’s so much more to explore regarding cultural influences on Asian American women.

Today, we’ll focus on the first steps to getting paid for your passion, part of my framework. This framework covers everything from start to finish, and today, we’ll discuss the initial steps.

Let’s begin with the two biggest mistakes preventing you from achieving your dreams in 2025. The first mistake I see all the time is that people don’t know what they want. They often tell me what they don’t want: they don’t want to feel stressed, overwhelmed, or work on vacation. While that’s helpful, it doesn’t clarify what they do want.

It’s like getting in your car without knowing where to go. If you have no clarity of direction, how can you motivate yourself to take action? If I’m hungry and get in the car without a destination, I’ll just feel aimless and end up at a familiar fast-food joint. You need to understand what you want.

Many of us grew up in families that prioritized the collective, doing what was expected to please our families. When I decided to become a journalist, I followed the prescribed path without stopping to ask myself if it was what I truly wanted. I might have been afraid of the answer, so I kept mindlessly following the rules. 

When my journalism career imploded, I was a miserable mess. I had never considered what I wanted until I was stuck in a job I hated. If you find yourself unsure of your next steps, this is the first mistake we need to address.

The second mistake is being overly attached to your goals. Many of my clients struggle with this. They often try to achieve a promotion, but the moment they stop being attached to the outcome is when they actually get it. Why? Because they stop trying to control the outcome.

This attachment often stems from childhood experiences where praise was contingent upon achieving high expectations. You learned that the only way to feel loved was to hit your goals. This creates a contracted energy that stalls your progress and prevents your dreams from coming true. When you’re fixated on a goal, you can’t see other possibilities. 

It’s crucial to understand that attachment brings only a narrow focus. Your intended path may differ from what you initially envisioned. Smart individuals often fall into this trap, thinking they can solve every problem in their lives. However, some things cannot be fixed alone, and detaching from your goals is essential.

So, what can a high-achieving woman do? Here are some straightforward steps. First, if you don’t know what you want, the key is to figure out what you do want. You might think it’s simple, but many find it challenging. It’s important to recognize this pattern in yourself. You need to know where you’re going to feel clear and connected.

Let’s return to the restaurant analogy. If I’m going to my favorite restaurant or a place I’ve been dying to try, I feel excited and clear about my destination. Goals are similar; they need to be specific and aligned with your true desires—not just something you think you should pursue because others say it’s a good goal.

I learned this lesson in journalism. I climbed the ladder because that’s what I was supposed to do, rarely asking myself if it was what I wanted. We all learned this as children: do your homework, get good grades, participate in activities, go to a great college, get a good job, and life will work out. But those goals often reflect societal or familial expectations rather than our true desires.

Once I started to pay attention, I realized I had my own goals independent of others’ expectations. Writing a book was one such goal. Initially, I thought I wouldn’t want to write a book, but when I honestly examined my feelings, I discovered I did want to—because I heard that clear call for myself. 

When I became clear about what I wanted, opportunities began to arise. Miracles happen when you’re clear about your desires. The other essential aspect is detachment. This is where the magic happens. When you detach from a goal, you create space for miraculous things to occur. 

For instance, when I got detached from the idea of writing a specific type of book, I found myself presented with an opportunity I hadn’t anticipated. I received an email offering me a book deal—not for a memoir, but for a book about yoga. Initially, I hesitated, but then I realized this was my chance to learn about writing, publishing, and marketing, which I needed to grow.

When you’re attached, you often make it mean something about yourself, thinking it must be a certain way. Instead, view it as an opportunity for growth. Your job as a human is to evolve. 

Think about your current job and how it feels when you’re not growing. You may feel bored or stagnant. In contrast, when you’re challenged and engaged in a project, you feel alive and motivated. Stretching through a goal is a foundational way to expand yourself. 

When you’re detached, you open yourself up to growth. The sweetness of achieving a goal comes from the expansion experienced along the way, not just the goal itself. At its core, your goals are pathways to becoming the person you want to be.

Inside my course, “Your Clear Calling,” we delve into the nitty-gritty of taking action on your goals. We not only identify them but also clarify them and discuss the exact steps to pursue your dreams. It’s an exciting journey, and I love seeing my clients thrive—many of whom achieve goals they didn’t even think they wanted.

For example, one client received a promotion three months after starting with me. She wasn’t sure she wanted it initially, but now she says she’s the happiest she’s ever been in her job. These possibilities arise when we get clear, detach, and move forward.

That’s what we cover in the “Get Paid for Your Passion” framework. If you are a high-achieving Asian American woman ready to release the negative cultural conditioning holding you back from thriving in your career and life, DM me “PAID” at Nicole Tsong on Instagram, and let’s chat. I have something special for you!

Alright, friends! What a start to the new year! I’m so grateful for you, for listening, and for growing this community together. Truly, I’m eternally in a deep well of gratitude and expansion being here with all of you. Have the most amazing start to the year and I’ll see you soon. Thank you so much for tuning into today’s episode.

Before you go, don’t forget if you are a high-achieving woman who wants to uncover your biggest blind spots preventing fast intuitive decisions, I’ve got a 72-second assessment for you, so make sure to DM me “QUIZ” at Nicole Tsong on Instagram. Thank you for being here and for listening. We read every note that we get from you about how the podcast is making a difference in your life. Please know how much we appreciate each and every one of you. Until next time, I’m Nicole Tsong and this is the school of Self-Worth.