The Difference Between Intuition and Stress

• Intuition does not exist in isolation (5:13)
• Intuition is always buried when you’re stressed (7:59)
• Calming your nervous system and being present and grounded (12:06)
• Intuition is always with you and is a muscle that can be strengthened (13:53)

Stress is emotional reactivity. When you are feeling anxious on any level, when you’re feeling pressure or intensity, you’re in any kind of worry or doubt or fear. That is all stress. So whenever someone tells me they have a gut feeling, I’m always like, oh, it’s interesting. Was it something that you were afraid of or something that you’re worried about? And if it is, that is an emotional reaction. And what exactly is an emotional reaction? It’s actually something that comes from the past, from things you’ve done before, from things that haven’t worked out. 

Stress and intuition both live in your body, but they are really physically distinct experiences. And it’s super important to start to learn the difference so that you know which place you’re tuning into. 

And it’s important for us to always start to look at some of those root causes down the road. And it is possible for you to start to help yourself to take some steps towards this. Or you can continue to stay in the stress instead of giving it up. It’s always up to you. You always have a choice in the matter.

If you’re curious about intuition, that is actually your intuitive voice talking to you and directing you towards resources and places that will help you master the language of intuition. 

Your intuition is the most indispensable tool that you have and the most indispensable tool you can develop to step into your power and really be seen on your terms. And it’s something for me, as an Asian American woman, has been very powerful for really allowing myself to be visible, is because my intuition has guided me to that place. 

NICOLE

Hello, friends. Welcome back to the School of Self-Worth. I am your host, Nicole Tsong, and today is a solo episode, which I love to do because it’s a time for me to dig into topics that I am dying to share with all of you. This one has been on my mind for a little bit of time, and you all also totally loved the episode about Intuition versus Logic. So today we’re going to go even deeper, and hang on, because today is about one of the biggest mistakes that I see people make about intuition.

This mistake is the first and most important one to master. You can actually trust that the voice you are listening to is your intuition. I consider this one to be foundational. So I am super excited to share more with you so you can become the master of your own intuitive communication. And if you’re an Asian American woman leader who wants to learn the secret language of intuition in 30 days or less, dm me intuition on Instagram at Nicole Tsong. I’ve got something for you. Okay, let’s dig in.

Welcome to the School of Self-Worth, a podcast for ambitious women who know they are worthy of an astoundingly great life. Join us weekly as we get on the right side of your intuition, redefine success, and reclaim your self-worth.

I’m your host, Nicole Tsong, an award-winning journalist who left it all behind to become a best-selling author of three books and work/life balance expert, helping ambitious women unlock their intuition and step into a life of fulfilment and radical joy. Every single week, I will bring you diverse and meaningful conversations with successful women from all walks of life who share insight about what it takes to be brave, joyful, and authentic every day. Every episode is thoughtfully designed to leave you feeling empowered with tangible tips and advice that will lead you to your next breakthrough.

All right, friends, today’s episode is about the absolute biggest mistake I see when it comes to intuition, and it’s one that I personally made for many, many years because I used to wonder just what was going on with intuitive people, anyway. They didn’t really seem any different from me. It didn’t seem like they had any particularly special qualities that I could see on the outside. But what I didn’t really understand at that time, what was happening, there was actually a lot more going on behind the scenes with all of them. I did wonder what this mysterious thing was that was making them so intuitive, when they didn’t really seem on the surface to be any different for me? It also begged the question, why are some people so intuitive, and then other people never seem to really figure it out and just use logic for all of their decision-making, and then end up getting to be a little bit stuck, feeling unfulfilled, and in this overthinking place all the time.

Today you are about to discover the real reason why. But first off, if you’re like I used to be, and you’re wondering about intuition, but you’re not really sure if that’s even something for you, here’s a cool, helpful hint. If you are curious about intuition, that is actually your intuition speaking. I’ll say it again. If you’re curious about intuition, that is actually your intuitive voice talking to you and directing you towards resources and places that will help you master the language of intuition. And today’s episode is not for anyone who doesn’t really care about intuition, who’s not interested in learning more or digging in deeper to the innate, cool intelligence that you have inside of you.

If you have zero interest in it, that’s totally fine. There’s plenty of other resources for you to do and listen to other things instead. But for those of you who are interested, I’m so excited because your intuition is this insanely powerful, amazing, cool resource, and it comes built in, just like your phone comes preloaded with tons of different apps and different things that you can use, different software, phone, text, all of those things. So that begs the question then, if it is built in, if your intuition is part of who you are, why doesn’t everyone use it? Well, it’s not a tool that exists in a vacuum. Here’s an example for an easy comparison. I play violin in an orchestra, and recently, right before a concert, our two oboists got sick, two days before the concert. You can’t play a symphony without the oboist, so we had to call in two backup oboists. Your intuition is like that.

There are actually several components at play for you to be able to hear it, so that you can get to the perfect resonance, just like how an orchestra puts together all these different people and instruments to actually play a symphony? It’s when you’re missing key pieces of this orchestra, you can’t actually function, you can’t get to the right pitch, you can’t get to the right place, and so you really need all of those pieces functioning for it to work. And so today, we’re going to address the first essential component. This is like the equivalent of your string orchestra, you really need to have this basic thing in place for you to actually start to listen to intuition. And for me, I used to use logic for literally every decision, whether it related to which college I went to, what kind of career I chose, what major I had, like everything I could think of, was always based on logic, and during that time, since I was always a high-achiever, and I was always really ambitious, I struggled for years to feel like I was making the right decisions or calls for myself.

I compared myself to everybody else that I knew, even though it probably looked, on the outside, like I was super successful. But when I finally started to use my intuition to make decisions, and I started to actually listen to it and follow it, I started to step into feeling successful. I really felt good about the choices I was making, no matter what anybody else was thinking. I was really starting to make some very nontraditional choices. As many of you listen to the podcast know, my first big one was leaving journalism to become a yoga teacher. And from that point on, I made multiple other decisions based on writing my books, launching this podcast, and starting my business, that were really outside what is normal or what people typically do. But because I was making them from my intuition, I felt really clear and powerful while I was making them, and I got into a much deeper and more connected relationship with myself as a result.

This is why your intuition is the most indispensable tool that you have and the most indispensable tool you can develop, to step into your power and really be seen on your terms. And it’s been something for me, as an Asian American woman, very powerful for really allowing myself to be visible, because my intuition has guided me to that place. But there is one little thing that’s usually causing a problem in here, and it’s a massive blind spot for most people, and it’s this: Your intuition will always get buried under stress. Put it another way, if you are feeling stressed, your intuition always gets put on the backseat. Your brain is going to prioritize dealing with stress rather than listening to your intuition. Because the stress is primary. It’s right in front of it. It’s the first thing that it’s going to want to face and to try to move through.

I’ll give you another example. Have you ever tried to make a decision when you’re stressed out? This can happen. I’ll give you the example of when you are at the store and you’re trying on some clothes. Say you’re at the store, you’re going on a trip, and you need some new jeans, and you only have like an hour to shop, and you’re trying on all these different jeans, you’re in the dressing room staring at all the options and you keep putting the jeans on, and then you take them off and you don’t know which one to wear? Which one’s going to work the best? Are these going to be comfortable? And then all of a sudden time is ticking and you need to go. And you’re like, I cannot stay here any longer thinking about these jeans.

Maybe you’re the type of person who then panic buys all of them to have all the options at home, so you can at least think about it in a slightly less stressful situation at home. Or you might be the type of shopper who buys none of them, and then you have nothing left. Are you making good decisions? Probably not. This is exactly the mistake I see all the time. People feel very stressed. They get into emotional reaction and then they’re actually not listening to their intuition. But the thing is, they often think that they are. When it is not, it is just stress.

What do I mean by that? Stress is emotional reactivity. When you are feeling anxious on any level, when you’re feeling pressure or intensity, you’re in any kind of worry or doubt or fear. That is all stress. So whenever someone tells me they have a gut feeling, I’m always like, oh, it’s interesting. Was it something that you were afraid of or something that you’re worried about? And if it is, that is an emotional reaction. And what exactly is an emotional reaction? It’s actually something that comes from the past, from things you’ve done before, from things that haven’t worked out.

So let’s go back to the dressing room. It could be you feel stressed because you’re worried about how your body looks, how it feels right now. It could be because you’re worried about what other people think of what you’re wearing. There’s multiple things that could be causing the stress and anxiety. It could be money, financial stress. Like, should I be spending money right now? If any of those things are at play, you’re going to be in an emotionally reactive state and you’re not going to be able to listen intuitively to a choice that you should make around what you’re trying to buy. Or it could be that you’re worried that if you go to another store, there won’t be anything better. Anytime we’re in that sort of closed place in our mind where we don’t feel like we have options, no possibilities, that is another sign that you’re in emotional reactivity and in stress.

One of the trickiest things about this, is that stress and intuition both live in your body, but they are really physically distinct experiences, and it’s super important to start to learn the difference, so that you know which place you’re tuning into, because one study has shown that more than 40% of women worldwide reported feeling stress or worry. Let’s just put it another way. If you are feeling stressed, you are cutting off the connection to your intuition. It’s not a case of whether or not you are intuitive. It’s really around understanding that you have this stress reaction that comes really quickly, and all of us have that, so you then start to learn to move out of that stress reaction and get back into a calm, grounded place, because that’s when you’re going to be able to start to master and understand the language of your intuition.

And really that is the first step, calming your nervous system, learning to be present and learning to be grounded. Because when we start to take this on a bigger scale, to work, for example, if you are feeling stressed all the time at work, you’re worried about what your boss is thinking about you, you’re worried about what your coworkers think, and anytime you have that kind of anxiety or stress, it’s going to be suppressing your intuition. You’re not actually going to be able to make the calm, confident, clear decisions that you know you’re capable of and what you want to be doing all the time at work, a lot of times you’re going to be making decisions from stress. But when you can start to recognize and calm that inner chatter consistently, and not just for a few minutes at a time, but actually live your day from that place, that’s when you’ll be taking a really substantive step forward towards learning the language of intuition, and not only that, but using it in a really effective way.

Now, there are several root causes to emotional reactivity, which I teach in my program, for you to feel truly calm and grounded throughout the day, and it’s important for us to always start looking at some of those root causes down the road. It is possible for you to start to help yourself to take some steps towards this, or you can continue to stay in the stress, instead of giving it up. It’s always up to you. You always have a choice in the matter. But when you get to a point where you’re really wanting to reduce that stress and understand the difference between the stress chatter and your intuitive voice, that is the moment you really start to peel back the layers, to start to uncover and reveal what’s already there, which is your intuitive voice, and it’s such a cool moment when you really connect inward to it.

Once you have it, you start to see why it is the most indispensable tool to have, because it’s one that’s with you. You can have it at any time. And just like a muscle that needs to be developed by going to the gym consistently through weeks and months, and you’re getting all those reps in to really build that strength, once you start to do that, that’s how you start to step into your power, and you get to truly be seen in the world on your terms. And it’s why I feel so passionately about it and why I care about it so much.

So your job is to look at that stress and then to start to reduce it and understand that it is distinct. And until you have that distinction, not relying on any stress reaction, or not thinking or mistaking it for your intuition, really just start to give yourself some more space and some more time. Because that’s going to be the first step towards really understanding and mastering intuition, rather than forcing anything. And I will promise you that if you’re trying to force it, that is definitely not your intuition.

Okay friends, thanks for this conversation. If it resonated with you, I would love to hear from you. Make sure to screenshot and share it on social media so others can know. And again, if you know that you want to master the language of intuition in 30 days or less, dm me intuition and let’s chat. Thanks for listening everybody, and until next time, I will see you so soon. Thank you so much for tuning into today’s episode.

Before you go, don’t forget, if you are a high-achieving woman who wants to uncover your biggest blind spots, preventing fast intuitive decisions, I’ve got a 72-second assessment for you, so make sure to dm me quiz on at Nicole at Instagram and thank you for being here and for listening. We read every note that we get from you about how the podcast is making a difference in your life.

Please know how much we appreciate each and every one of you. Until next time,  I’m Nicole Tsong and this is the School of Self-Worth.