Radically Authentic with Nicole, part 2

• How to leverage all of you as a superpower (5:57)
• Stepping out of emotional reactions at the workplace (7:08)
• Acting on your intuition (8:37)

But the truth is, the bigger system itself hasn’t changed, and so you’re still sacrificing yourself every day. It’s kind of like if you’re trying to learn, you’re learning to ride a bike, or you are riding a bike, and you keep getting on and you keep feeling like you’re growing and making progress, but everyone else has upgraded to an ebike and they are zipping past you and you’re furiously paddling, trying to keep up.

When you stop outsourcing self worth to work, you actually start to give up that hustle. You start to get more rest, you get plenty of sleep. You start to take time to move your body, to eat well, and you step out of emotional reaction in the workplace. And now you’re starting to trust your decisions more deeply because they’re coming from a grounded, clear place.

With supercharged self worth, it means that you are confident enough to master intuitive communication patterns and to act on what your intuition tells you. You’re not running around asking everyone else for their advice.

When you finally access supercharged self worth, it ripples out into the world… The more you can be that confident, fully worthy leader, the more people recognize the whole of who you are, and they realize how powerful and impactful you are. And that is actually how you get ahead. 

NICOLE

Hello, friends. Welcome back to the School of Self-Worth. I am your host, Nicole Tsong, and today we are diving into the second part of a three part series, radical authenticity, for Asian American Pacific Islander corporate leaders. Today is such a powerful topic. We’re going to be talking about how to leverage your Asian identity as a superpower at work. Seriously? Yes, seriously. I’m so excited about this topic. I can’t wait to share this one with you, and if you know it’s time to unlock your superpowered self at work and beyond in 2024, dm me Superpower at Nicole Tsong on Instagram and I have got something for you.

Welcome to the School of Self-Worth, a podcast for ambitious women who know they are worthy of an astoundingly great life. Join us weekly as we get on the right side of your intuition, redefine success, and reclaim your self-worth. I’m your host, Nicole Tsong, an award-winning journalist who left it all behind to become a best-selling author of three books and work/life balance expert, helping ambitious women unlock their intuition and step into a life of fulfilment and radical joy. Every single week, I will bring you diverse and meaningful conversations with successful women from all walks of life who share insight about what it takes to be brave, joyful, and authentic every day. Every episode is thoughtfully designed to leave you feeling empowered with tangible tips and advice that will lead you to your next breakthrough.

Hello friends. So, first, if you missed last week’s radical authenticity episode, the very first in the series, go back and listen to episode 45. It is super honest. It is the most vulnerable I’ve ever been on the topic of race and identity on the podcast. It’s also the context for how we landed on today’s episode. So make sure you tune into that one and then come back here. Okay? Welcome back. I’m so glad you took the time to listen to the previous episode.

This year, I am in really deep surrender, and you’ve now gotten to hear exactly how that is, showing up with new layers of learning about who I am and what I understand about myself and sharing that with all of you as I go. My goal for you dear listeners, truly, is to be transparent always about my growth with the intention of supporting you to do the very same thing in your own life. Which leads us to here, because I am so excited to dive into today’s episode. I’m really lucky to be surrounded by some pretty extraordinary women. This last month in particular, I have to say, I have had the most heart opening, deep, expansive conversations about the challenges women of color, and in particular Asian American women face as leaders in corporate environments and elsewhere. One thing in particular stood out for me. For many Asian American women, one of the biggest challenges you face is you are almost always trying to win at life, using somebody else’s standards. Like we’re trying to prove ourselves and succeed in a system that was never even built for us to begin with.

You spend all your time often trying to fix it to get promoted so you have more power and leverage. But it can feel like you’re actually hitting your head against the wall with people who don’t listen to what you say or pay lip service to what you’re saying, but don’t actually commit to the change. So tell me if this sounds familiar. As a kid, you went all out for success in high school. You got the grades, you did all the activities, you went to a great college, and then you figured out how to get a job that wasn’t doctor or lawyer, but it still satisfied your parents on some level because at least you were making good money. But then there’s some part of you that knows you are holding back in your life. Maybe you’re the only Asian woman at your level at work, or you’ve never had a mentor who looks like you, or you report to a woman, but she can’t identify with your experience as a woman of color, and as a result, you haven’t been able to show up as your true self.

Or you feel like you’re just kind of a patchwork version of yourself when you’re working, so you’re really only yourself in other areas of your life, and that chasm tears at you bit by bit every single day. So then you think you need to hire an executive coach to help sort things out so you can figure out the next steps to get promoted, to get more leverage at work. Or you need to hire more people of color beneath you to feel like you’re still making change in the environment you’re in. But the truth is, the bigger system itself hasn’t changed, and so you’re still sacrificing yourself every day. It’s kind of like if you’re trying to learn, you’re learning to ride a bike, or you are riding a bike, and you keep getting on and you keep feeling like you’re growing and making progress, but everyone else has upgraded to an ebike and they are zipping past you and you’re furiously peddling, trying to keep up.

If this is how you feel, this is the perfect conversation we’re going have, talking about what it takes to leverage your Asian identity as a superpower. And this means we’re going to dig deeper into the amazing advantage of being radically authentic at work and how that ultimately is how you’re going to get ahead. Because here’s what it takes for you to leverage all of you as a superpower, supercharged self-worth. So we’re going to talk about what that looks like and why it even matters.

First off, when you have that kind of deep, expansive, supercharged self-worth, it makes you a better manager. Just full stop. When you are no longer held back, worrying about what other people think of what you’re doing, and you’re not proving, you’re not trying to prove yourself every single day, you actually can step into greater confidence in who you are, how you direct your team. You stop second guessing your decisions. In turn, your team now also trusts you more deeply. They’re performing better because of that trust, which makes both you and the people above you, happy.

The second thing that happens when you have supercharged self-worth, is that you give up hustling. You stop trying to make work your source of your value, of who you are and how you identify yourself. When you stop with that outsourcing of self-worth to work, you actually start to give up that hustle. You start to get more rest, you get plenty of sleep. You start to take time to move your body, to eat well, and you step out of emotional reaction in the workplace. You’re starting to trust your decisions more deeply because they’re coming from a grounded, clear place, and by giving up the hustle, you delegate more. You have the capacity to come up with more creative solutions. You are actually happy in your life with your work.

Thirdly, with supercharged self-worth, you understand that your perspective on the world matters. That the way you grew up, everything you learned from your parents, the culture you were immersed in, all of that makes you actually better at your job. You have compassion for people who experience being othered. You know what it’s like to be underestimated. You are sensitive to the moment when someone ignores undertones in a meeting, and you’re willing to speak up when that’s going on or when someone is being sidelined. You also know when not to speak. Instead of speaking up just to show everyone you have a voice, you understand that being quiet is also powerful. On a deeper level, you don’t miss a thing. You actually see everything that is going on in a room, and this is something that is so important, that sensitivity and attunement to the world, and that people start to recognize how amazing you are in what you’re doing.

Finally, with supercharged self-worth, it means that you are confident enough to master intuitive communication patterns and to act on what your intuition tells you. You’re not running around asking everyone else for their advice. You know how to navigate challenging situations, start intuitive communication. You understand what’s not being said in a meeting, and you also know how to use powerful language to move projects forward, and your team forward. You are masterful in the way you communicate with others. And when you finally get here, you’ll experience huge opportunities and abundance and new money and promotions. All of those good things start to truly pour in.

When you finally access supercharged self-worth, it ripples out into the world. It’s so cool that way. The more you can be that confident, fully worthy leader, the more people recognize the whole of who you are, and they realize how powerful and impactful you are, and that is actually how you get ahead. And this is how you can get the promotion. This is how you get to the next level at work. This is how you get to the place where you are actually making the decisions that matter, and people are listening to you, and this is how you make more money. This is how you start to expand your life to the next degree, instead of believing that you somehow have to suppress yourself in order for those things to have to happen.

Most everyone has internalized programming, diminishing their self-worth in some way. But anytime someone wants to step into their power, they really need a clear relationship to their worth and to their value. And how do you ever expect to have clarity for your life and to step into your deepest sense of self-empowerment without a clear relationship to your self-worth? Shattering the stubborn blocks that are undermining your self-worth is the only way to step into that superpowered version of yourself. And that, my friends, is exactly what we’ll be talking about for the final piece of this series. We’ll be getting into the four main blocks to your superpowered self. Okay, I feel super lit up from this conversation, and if this resonates with you, dm me supercharged, so I know that you heard what I had to say today, and then stay tuned for part three on the four main blocks to your superpowered self. I cannot wait to share with you there.

All right! Thanks, friends. Thank you so much for tuning into today’s episode. Before you go, don’t forget, if you are a high-achieving woman who wants to uncover your biggest blind spots preventing fast intuitive decisions,  I’ve got a 72-second assessment for you, so make sure to dm me quiz on at Nicole Tsong at Instagram, and thank you for being here and for listening. We read every note that we get from you about how the podcast is making a difference in your life. Please know how much we appreciate each and every one of you. Until next time, I’m Nicole Tsong and this is the School of Self-Worth.