From Overthinking to Intuitive Decision-Making

• The main block to visibility for Asian American women [00:00:21]
• The impact of cultural conditioning and family values [00:02:33]
• Why valuing information over strategy limits advancement [00:06:06]
• The shift from details to strategic, intuitive leadership [00:07:25]
• Breaking the cycle of emotional reactivity [00:11:29]
• Setting boundaries around noise and tuning into intuition [00:12:52]

“The main block that is getting in the way of you and your visibility at work is something you have probably really highly valued your entire life.”

“When we have something that we really value, it can be really hard to let go of… I had to do a lot of work to untangle myself from this particular one.”

“Leaders are not the people who have all the details. They’re not the people who are lost in the weeds. They’re not the people who have all the information.”

“What a boss is looking for is someone who is strategic, who is intuitive, and who is making decisions quickly.”

“If you really want to put the cherry on top, you’re doing this grounded and calm… Most of the leaders that I’ve experienced are so calm they can handle anything.”

“The cool benefit of being in an intuitive decision making system is it is fast. You are not overthinking, you’re not doing pro and con lists. You’re actually leaning into this really amazing system within yourself.”

“There are two key pieces to this transformation: first, understand the type of decision-making you want to embody as a leader, and second, learn how to manage your emotional reactivity. Breaking this cycle is essential for becoming the unruffled leader you aspire to be.”

Hello, friends! I’m Nicole Tsong, and welcome to the School of Self-Worth. Today, I am thrilled to discuss a blind spot that I see affecting many Asian American women. This topic is juicy and significant—it deserves its own episode! You definitely don’t want to miss what I’m about to share.

We’ll dive into the main block that hinders your visibility at work, and I’ll explain how to start doing things differently. So, make sure to tune in! Before we get started, if you’re a high-achieving Asian American corporate leader who wants to feel valued and visible as you prepare for the next promotion cycle, DM me intuitive at @nicoletsong on Instagram for more details. 

Okay, friends, let’s jump into this amazing topic!

Welcome to the School of Self-Worth, a podcast designed for ambitious women who believe they are worthy of an extraordinary life. Join us weekly as we align with your intuition, redefine success, and reclaim your self-worth. I’m your host, Nicole Tsong—an award-winning journalist who left everything behind to become a bestselling author of three books and a work-life balance expert. I help ambitious women unlock their intuition and step into a life of fulfillment and radical joy. Each week, I’ll bring you diverse and meaningful conversations with successful women from all walks of life, sharing insights on what it takes to be brave, joyful, and authentic every day. Every episode is thoughtfully crafted to empower you with tangible tips and advice that will lead you to your next breakthrough.

Now, I feel the need to give you all a little warning: what I’m about to share might sting a bit—maybe even a lot. I pride myself on being direct and honest with my listeners and clients because I believe it’s essential to address these truths. This topic may be a bit painful, as it ties back to cultural conditioning and the way you were raised. 

We’re here to discuss the main thing blocking your visibility, something you’ve likely valued your entire life. Letting go of something you hold dear can be incredibly challenging. I’ve experienced this myself. I attended an Ivy League college and worked as a journalist, where I placed immense value on information. It took a lot of work for me to untangle myself from this mindset, and I want to make it easier and faster for all of you, which is why I’m recording this episode. Just know that I’ve done significant work to overcome this block so that I can be visible in my life—going on television, writing books, and hosting this podcast to share powerful insights on how Asian American women can step into greater visibility.

Let’s start by discussing the conditioning that leads to this block. This conditioning stems from your upbringing and the values your family likely instilled in you regarding hard work. Many of our families have immigrated and taken significant risks to provide us with the lives we have, leading to high expectations. This immigrant mentality, combined with Asian cultural values that prioritize the collective, means that your individual performance often reflects on your family’s pride.

Growing up, you probably learned that you should work hard and be the smartest one with the best grades. The typical path involved collecting knowledge, always having the answers, and excelling in school. This approach works well in academic settings, where studying hard leads to good grades, which in turn helps you secure college admission and your first job. For the first 10 to 15 years of your career, this method is effective—you become the workhorse, mastering the details and understanding the systems.

However, this system stops working when you aspire to be a leader. As a leader, you need to be strategic and intuitive, not bogged down by details. Leaders are not the ones lost in the weeds; they need to make decisions quickly and effectively. Unfortunately, many Asian American women find themselves valuing information over strategic, intuitive decision-making. They believe that accumulating knowledge will help them advance, but what employers truly seek are individuals who can make fast, strategic decisions.

When you focus too much on gathering information, you may struggle to make quick decisions, leading to overthinking. Instead of tapping into your intuition and thinking big-picture, you become mired in details. If you’ve ever had a boss who was always lost in the weeds, you might have considered them a micromanager—constantly checking in rather than discussing the overall direction for the team.

This challenge is particularly pronounced for Asian American women, who often receive feedback about being too detail-oriented or not seeing the big picture. However, this feedback rarely includes guidance on how to become an intuitive, strategic leader. You may feel frustrated, thinking, “But I’m working so hard!” You might put in extra hours or create comprehensive presentations, but that’s not what your leaders are looking for. They want to trust that you can provide insightful feedback and intuitive understanding, not just a data dump.

To become the leader they trust, you must learn to make fast, powerful decisions. This shift will position you as the go-to person for strategic insights. Remember, your bosses don’t always have all the answers, and they want someone who can provide unique perspectives. Plus, if you can handle this calmly and grounded, you’ll stand out even more. 

I recently spoke with a woman frustrated with her advancement and the dynamics at her workplace. I asked her if she trusts leaders who are always upset. Most likely, you trust leaders who remain calm and composed, regardless of the situation. They can handle anything without getting rattled, which is crucial for making intuitive decisions.

There are two key pieces to this transformation: first, understand the type of decision-making you want to embody as a leader, and second, learn how to manage your emotional reactivity. Breaking this cycle is essential for becoming the unruffled leader you aspire to be, allowing you to make intuitive decisions.

To begin, you must learn to manage your emotions differently. If you struggle with this, DM me on Instagram at @nicoletsong, and we can discuss how to break that emotional reactivity cycle. It’s vital. For all my clients, this is the first focus during the initial 30 days because it’s the only way to step into the leadership role you desire.

When my client Sydni Powell worked on breaking her emotional reactivity, her experience at work transformed. She became the go-to person, and her boss described her as easy to work with. Who wouldn’t want to be seen that way? Being easy to manage means you can support others effectively.

So, the two steps you need to take are: first, get a grip on your emotional side. Don’t take work personally, and avoid dwelling on it constantly. Second, establish strong boundaries around the noise in your environment, including the noise in your own head. 

Start listening to yourself more clearly and tune out the distractions. Are you checking your email first thing in the morning? Messaging late at night? Your brain is like a muscle—it needs breaks. Take mental breaks where you’re not consuming any information. Sometimes, it’s beneficial to walk without a podcast or simply enjoy silence. If that idea makes you anxious, it’s a sign you need to incorporate more quiet time into your routine.

This advice is given for a reason: it works. Start learning to manage your emotions and break that cycle. If you need support, DM me on Instagram at @nicoletsong, and we can explore how to implement this intuitive decision-making system effectively. 

You have the potential to be visible, valued, and a strategic leader. Let’s unlock that potential together!

Thank you for joining me in today’s conversation. If you’re ready to uncover your biggest blind spots preventing fast, intuitive decisions, DM me quiz for a 72-second assessment at @nicoletsong on Instagram. We appreciate every note we receive about how the podcast impacts your life. Until next time, I’m Nicole Tsong, and this is the School of Self-Worth.