What if slowing down, asking for help, and surrendering control are actually the keys to unlocking your next level in 2026?
In this deeply personal and expansive year-in-review episode, Nicole reflects on the six most transformative lessons she learned in 2025—a year marked by profound change and identity shifts. This episode is for you if you are a high-achieving Asian American woman who is used to powering through life and starting to wonder if there’s a more sustainable way forward.
So whether you’re navigating big changes, craving support, or rethinking how you want to grow in the new year, we hope these lived lessons open something powerful for you as you step into 2026.
“[This past year}, I constantly had to give myself space and time to surrender, and what happened for me was that it allowed me to have more space in my mind for my life.”
“Growing up, I didn’t ask for help. That was not the Asian way. I had a total go-at-it-alone mentality. But this year, I really had to dig in on asking for help in a totally different level…Me asking for help was actually setting up a framework for feeling easeful, because it really felt easeful during that time.”
“You don’t know what you don’t know. This year, I entered this world that I didn’t know existed, and it is this pay-it-forward world…There’s just this energy of ‘I’ve been there, and other people supported me, so I’m going to support you.’” – Nicole Tsong
“Surrender really was for people. I’m like, those people are never going to get what they want in their life is what I used to think… But over time, I have learned to surrender.” – Nicole Tsong
“Asking for help just – it was just a new level of seeing it this year. It’s something I work with Asian American women on a lot because we are so used to not asking for help or, like, having a hard time receiving it.” – Nicole Tsong
“Who you are asking for help from is as important as asking for help.” – Nicole Tsong
“Habits are so powerful. Like, I had this habit that I had done for years and I took a three month break from it and when I came back, it was right there for me.” – Nicole Tsong
“There’s just this energy of pay it forward that exists out there. So if you didn’t know, now you know.” – Nicole Tsong
“That experience of being alone isn’t something you have to live with. I find so many women when they come to me do feel really alone and isolated because of their circumstance.” – Nicole Tsong
NICOLE
Hello, friends! Welcome back to the School of Self-Worth. I’m your host, Nicole Tsong. One of the most popular episodes we do every year is a recap of the previous year, where I talk about my biggest lessons learned.
If you didn’t know, I had a baby in 2025, so there are some pretty big lessons that came to pass for me this year, and I cannot wait to share them with you. They’re so big, so expansive, and they apply not just to parents.
These lessons are truly for high achievers because I understand the mentality of a high-achieving woman – I am that person. So, you’ll want to stay tuned for all of these lessons from this year. If you are a high-achieving Asian American woman ready to reverse cultural conditioning so that you can be visible and influential in 2026, DM me “2026” on Instagram @NicoleTsong, because I’ve got something special for you.
Okay, friends, let’s dive into 2025 Recap!
Welcome to the School of Self-Worth, a podcast for ambitious women who know they are worthy of an astoundingly great life. Join us weekly as we align with your intuition, redefine success, and reclaim your self-worth. I’m your host, Nicole Tsong, an award-winning journalist who left it all behind to become a bestselling author of three books and a work-life balance expert, helping ambitious women unlock their intuition and step into a life of fulfillment and radical joy. Every week, I bring you diverse and meaningful conversations with successful women from all walks of life, sharing insights about what it takes to be brave, joyful, and authentic every day. Each episode is thoughtfully designed to leave you feeling empowered, with tangible tips and advice that will lead you to your next breakthrough.
Hey, friends! I have a question for you: Are you someone who likes to reflect on the year you’ve had, or do you tend to just power through, always moving on to the next thing? For most of my life, I was the latter. I was always powering through – reflection was not something I ever did. I never paused. As soon as I finished something, I was on to the next. I didn’t celebrate, I didn’t reflect, and I didn’t look back. I just plowed forward, thinking that was the only way to succeed. I thought I had to go as hard as possible at all times.
In December, I was just like, “Okay, let’s get through the holidays and move on to the new year.” I never really gave myself the opportunity to consider that there might be something worth looking at. I would call appreciation for myself and my life, as well as the lessons learned, one of my biggest weak spots for most of my life. However, I have transformed this into one of my strengths.
Now, I truly love reflection. I cherish taking the time to look back and understand what transpired, so I can carry those lessons forward. It’s one of the most important ways I set myself up for a new year. Today, I’m going to share my top six lessons of the year. This was a massive year of change for me, and I’m excited to dig in with you. I know that regardless of where you are in your life, you should be able to find something here, a nugget that hopefully supports you in whatever challenges you faced in 2025, helping you head into 2026 with clarity.
Lesson #6: Surrender
Let’s start with number six, which is really about surrender. I shared a surrender episode a while back, but this year brought another level and layer of surrender that I had to learn. I used to think surrender was a sign of weakness. I believed it was for people who couldn’t handle life, who weren’t action-takers or go-getters. I thought those people would never get what they wanted in life. I was always fighting my way through, proving myself, working harder than everyone else to reach my goals.
But over time, I learned to surrender. Being pregnant forced me to surrender pretty quickly. I started 2025 pregnant, and it required changing how I moved my body. With my yoga and fitness background, I wanted to do all the things I always did – Olympic weightlifting, tap dancing, walking, hiking, and yoga. I kept doing those things, but early on, I realized I had to surrender to the fact that I might not be able to do everything the way I always had.
During my first trimester, I made significant shifts and surrendered to the fact that my body was creating a human life. I had to allow it the energy, space, and time it needed. I surrendered to how I ate, cleaning up my diet for the arrival of this new life. I even had to surrender in my sleep, as I started experiencing insomnia, which was unusual for me. My body was constantly changing throughout the pregnancy, and I had to surrender sometimes every minute of every day to what was happening in my body.
Of course, there’s also the surrender that occurs once you have a baby. It was a powerful experience to practice surrender daily instead of just during significant life moments. The whole year felt like a big moment, and I had to give myself that space and time to surrender. This practice allowed me to create more mental space for my life. I realized I could have both; I just had to surrender how I was running my business, how my body was changing, and even in my marriage.
Even though this is the first lesson I’m sharing, it was probably the biggest theme for me this year – being in that practice of surrender. Here’s the thing: surrendering isn’t giving up. I was very clear about my intentions. For example, I consistently moved my body throughout my pregnancy and postpartum. I knew movement was good for me; I just had to surrender how I’d always done it. That surrender made all the difference. I learned to accept that some days, I might just have to walk or do things differently, and that was okay. It didn’t make me weak.
I was walking 10,000 steps the week I gave birth, but that didn’t mean anything. I had to accept that it was okay to adjust my expectations. After having the baby, I was walking only about 500 steps a day. The lesson was about surrendering to the circumstances around us, and this became a lived practice for me throughout the year.
Lesson #5: Asking for Help
Next, let’s talk about getting help. Growing up, I didn’t ask for help. That was not the Asian way. My Asian parents conditioned me to keep things in the family, don’t share anything that would make you look weak or bad. I had a total “go it alone” mentality. This started in high school and continued into adulthood. The older I got, the less I asked for help, and when I did, I felt embarrassed about it. I didn’t receive the kind of help that would make a real difference.
This year, I had to dig deep and ask for help on a whole new level. When you have a baby, you need support. When I came home from the hospital, I needed help learning to breastfeed and even help with meals…thank you, DoorDash! So many people sent us DoorDash gift certificates, which were lifesavers.
I also needed help taking time off work. My team provided incredible support, allowing me to take a proper leave to heal and be with my baby. I had help from amazing coaches who supported my cohorts and me. I would have struggled immensely if I hadn’t asked for help. Instead, I asked for a lot of help and received so much support during the three months I took off.
Asking for help sets up a framework for a more easeful life. During that time, I felt I could focus my energy on my newborn son and my marriage, rather than worrying about my business. This year, I learned that asking for help is crucial, especially for Asian American women who often struggle with receiving it.
Lesson #4: Filter Your Sources of Help
Now, let’s expand on asking for help with lesson number four: don’t listen to the Internet, do this instead: We all know it can be challenging not to listen to the Internet, especially when seeking advice. But this is one hill I will die on. It’s essential to filter who you ask for help from. Who are you talking to? Who are you seeking support and advice from? This is critical.
Over the years, I’ve learned that when entering something unknown, it’s much faster and simpler to get help from experts – not from the Internet, friends, or acquaintances who recently had a baby. When you’re pregnant, you receive so much unsolicited advice, which only ramps up once you have the baby. While some advice can be helpful, it often creates chaos and chatter in my mind, making me question myself.
What I want is to get guidance from those who truly understand the bigger picture of what’s happening – experts who have helped hundreds or even thousands of people with similar issues. For example, when I have physical pain, I always go to an expert, like my chiropractor. I wouldn’t ask someone who doesn’t know much about the body for help with physical pain.
During my pregnancy, I had challenges and pain in my body. I sought help from my chiropractor, who specializes in pre- and postpartum care. Once the baby arrived, I consulted my pediatrician and lactation consultant. I even hired an overnight doula and a postpartum doula, who were incredibly helpful.
So many people want to offer advice, especially when you become a mom. I understand the desire to share experiences, but I know from experience that there’s a difference between people who understand the broader challenges and those who simply want to share their stories. My doula provided countless examples from other moms navigating similar situations, which helped me immensely.
In this age of social media, the tendency is to ask the Internet for help. However, there are people out there who are equipped to support you. This is an investment I will make time and time again; it’s the fastest and simplest way to feel on track with anything you’re working through.
Lesson #3: The Power of Habits
Now, let’s move to lesson number three: how powerful habits can change your life. I’ve always known the importance of habits. I’m big on self-care and do multiple things daily to take care of myself – movement, meditation, healthy eating, and taking breaks. I knew my self-care would change once I had a baby, and it did.
In the first couple of months, my self-care was dialed back. Taking a shower, eating well, and drinking water became my basics. I didn’t have much bandwidth for anything beyond that. But once we settled in and I prepared to work again, I felt something was missing. I was doing the basics—showering, eating well, drinking water—but still felt off.
I realized I needed to return to some of my old practices, particularly my morning meditation. I had been doing this practice for nearly a decade, but I had stopped during the early months with the baby, due to inconsistent sleep. Once I decided to bring it back, it felt so familiar and good. It snapped back into place as if I had never stopped.
This experience proved to me how powerful habits are. I had taken a three-month break, yet when I returned, the habit was right there waiting for me. It changed how I felt about myself daily and how I approached work after maternity leave.
The best part about habits is that once they’re established – usually taking about 60 days – they can significantly impact your life. I’ve rewired my brain to return to my meditation practice. It felt like a comfortable, soft blanket, and I’m now bringing other supportive habits back into my life, like long walks with the baby.
I’m a strong proponent of habits, and this year showed me the incredible benefits of having established them, even when life circumstances temporarily take you away from them.
Lesson #2: You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know
This brings me to lesson number two: you don’t know what you don’t know. This can summarize pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting. This year, I entered a world I literally didn’t know existed, not just having a baby, but a pay-it-forward community created by other moms.
Every person I’ve ever known who has given birth or had a baby showed up for us in so many ways – with food, gift cards, supportive texts, baby clothes, and more. We received so many things from people in our community who aren’t close friends but wanted to help. There was this energy of “I’ve been there, and others supported me, so I’m going to support you.”
I felt this deeply, especially in the first couple of months when we needed help with food and basics. Once my baby hit three months, I felt inspired to pay it forward to other new moms. I wanted to help them, even though we were still getting ourselves settled.
I’ve never been so grateful for the way people showed up for us. If you’re listening and you contributed in any way, thank you! Every single bit mattered. It wasn’t just one person making a difference; it was the accumulation of support from many people. Some even waited until three months to help us when they knew we needed it the most.
This energy of paying it forward is powerful. I’m now committed to doing the same for other moms. I realize how different it is once you have a baby, and I want to generate that support for others, just as I received it.
Lesson #1: You’re Never Alone
Finally, the last lesson is that you never have to feel alone. Growing up, I often felt like the one and only. I was the only Asian in the room. That was a very common experience for me growing up in the suburb of Chicago. Even in journalism, I had that experience a lot. I definitely had that experience a lot in yoga, and I’ve had that experience in entrepreneurship. That’s why I created Your Clear Calling. For many women in my community, it’s become essential to have a space just for Asian American women. I’ve seen this in many moms I coach – they often feel isolated after having a child. I didn’t want that for myself or my family, so I sought out what I needed.
Before my baby arrived, I joined a BIPOC expecting moms group, and afterward, I joined a BIPOC parenting group run by a really cool non-profit called Families of Color Seattle. I had to overcome my cultural conditioning and realize that it’s okay to join something. I deeply desired to connect with other moms going through similar experiences.
In Seattle, it can be challenging to find diverse groups, but these communities have been fantastic. They’ve ensured I never felt alone on this journey. They’ve helped me laugh when I wanted to cry over challenges with my baby, and we enjoy watching our little ones interact, even if they’re still too small to play together.
For any of you feeling isolated, know that you don’t have to endure that alone. Many women come to me feeling isolated due to their circumstances, whether at work or in their personal lives. When they join Your Clear Calling, they realize they’re not alone. There are so many others like them going through similar situations, and that support expands their experience.
Joining those parenting groups was one of the most joyful aspects of my maternity leave. I looked forward to it. We shared how we wanted to raise our children, our own upbringing, and how culture and race play into parenting. Having those conversations made a significant difference for me. Sometimes, it’s just about having a space to talk about things with people who understand, and that’s what these groups provided.
So, DM me at Nicole Tsong on Instagram if you have any thoughts or powerful takeaways from this episode. If you’re ready to reverse cultural conditioning and want to connect with me, DM me “2026” on Instagram @NicoleTsong, and I’ll send you some details.
All right, friends, have a beautiful week, and I’ll see you soon! Thank you so much for tuning into today’s episode. Before you go, don’t forget, if you are a high-achieving woman who wants to uncover your biggest blind spots preventing fast, intuitive decisions, I’ve got a 72-second assessment for you. So make sure to DM me “quiz” on Instagram.
Thank you for being here and for listening. We read every note we receive about how the podcast is making a difference in your life. Please know how much we appreciate each and every one of you. Until next time, I’m Nicole Tsong, and this is the School of Self-Worth.
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